Turnovers

Our predictions for 2011 :
At Channel Sux . . .
• The station's morning team will (mercifully) fall apart, starting with simple-minded anchorette Maltard Maddox's decision to become a simple-minded stay-at-home mom. Doing what it does best, Channel Sux will make a bad situation worse by naming bland reporter Ann McIntire to replace Maltard.
• J-Pa Knicely will announce his "retirement" in the

Help Wanted: Idiot

Are Jana Murrell and Veronica Todd having a stupidity contest?That's the only conclusion we can draw after watching several days of KETV's "FirstNews" morning program. What was the meeting like when it was decided to put these two dim bulbs on the same program? Is 77 KETV management's favorite I.Q., in the same way that 77 is supposedly meteorologist Bill Randby's favorite temperature?It's been

News Flash: TV Can Make You Stupid

Newspapers are touting studies showing that too much TV-watching hurts kids' academic performance. Like, duh.What they ought to focus on is the impact on adults' intelligence. We're convinced that ten minutes spent watching Channel 7's Suzanne Deyo or Andrea Bredow leaves us dumber.Studies: Too Much TV May Inhibit Learning [Newsday]

"Big Turds of Poop": A Fubar Fazal Story

This item comes to us from an alert reader, who pointed us to a story we'd missed.And who couldn't love a story that includes the phrase "big turds of poop," even if it were just in writing? The bonus is that there's video (at least until KETV decides to pull it). We're not sure that the closeup shot of sewage was entirely necessary, but it's fitting that Channel 7 dispatched its shittiest

Monkeys at the Helm Again Saturday

The technical flubs were so numerous on Channel 6's Saturday morning news program that we even felt sorry for anchor Andrea McMaster. Yeah, it was that bad.From an over-the-shoulder graphic that mentioned "warrents" being issued to audio that cut in and out at random, the program was the sort of thing professors should show as an example of how not to do things. We'd expect this level of quality

So That's What They Mean By "Late Breaking"

Channel 3 was first on the air with news of Thursday morning's fatal plane crash at 117th and Giles Road. With studios located a good seven or eight miles southwest of Channels 6 & 7 (and only about two miles from the crash scene), KM3 had a built-in advantage in just getting a reporter on the scene. Corey Rangel delivered a telephone report at approximately 10:15 a.m. Channel 7's Mike Sigmond

Soul Brother Number One

WOWT joke of the day: Mike "John Knicely, Jr." Cronemeyer "reporting live" to lecture viewers on the intricacies Kwanzaa in 40 seconds or less.Yeah, Cronemeyer seems the perfect candidate to discuss the rich traditions of an African-American holiday. Another brilliant move by the Channel Sux assignment desk.

Wild

Maltard Maddox's hard-hitting "High School Cribs" segment Thursday morning featured Millard West High School.Of course, it wasn't cued up at the scheduled time. Maltard assured viewers that they could just watch it on the "web-channel." The Suxers ended up running the piece several minutes later, and boy are we glad they did. Otherwise, how would we have learned that Millard West has, according

Press Photogs Say KMTV Video Clear, Accurate, to the Point.

We've made no secret of the fact that we appreciate KMTV's effort. Operating with less staff and fewer resources than WOWT and KETV, the folks at Channel 3 still put together a newscast as good as any in this market, if not better.Making the feat all the more amazing is that these folks continue to crank out high-quality work despite the demoralizing and certainly embarrassing presence of Travis

Pat Gets Loose Again

Never one to overtax herself, especially since she's just 34 days away from "retirement," teenie-weenie WOWT anchor Pat Persaud managed to take another day off on Wednesday. Since Tracy Madden is away this week, probably resting up from doing her job and Pat's for so many weeks, Rebecca Kleeman filled in. If we had the wherewithal, we'd open our own offshore, online casino and take bets on