Unintentional

We had to rewind the DVR to make sure, but SuxNews is, indeed, running a promo that begins, "Do your kids smell like tossed salad?"Someone at that joke of a news operation might want to run future copy by urbandictionary.com so that the Suxers don't end up running a spot featuring the phrase, "Cleveland Steamer."

Hello, I must be going...

We left on vacation in mid-March, thinking that by the time we returned, we would have regained some enthusiasm for writing this little blog. But when we rolled back into town in early April, it took only about five minutes of checking out the local news to prove that we lacked the stomach for this. So we didn't write. And then didn't write some more.There are only so many times you can sit

Hope

An alert reader sends us this link to an article regarding companies that Moody's rating service has listed on its "bottom rung." The article says companies on this list have a high risk of default. One company on the list is the owner of Channel Sux: Gray Television Inc. In this small nugget of information resides our only hope that WOWTard will finally unload J-Pa Knicely's bloated salary from

The Reporter's Side of the Story

Yesterday, we criticized KMTV and KETV for running interviews with the mom and brother of a Council Bluffs boy run over and killed by a school bus. Channel 3's Michelle Bandur posted the following comment in response:There is nothing I loathe more about my job, than to interview a grieving family or cover a funeral. It's difficult enough when horrible things happen to your OWN family. I'm sure

Jim Rose: Hideous Freak?

Here's a question we've been pondering for over a year now: Why, during the weekly "Coach Callahan Show," do we never see host Jim Rose up close?We see plenty of tight shots of Callahan, but whenever Rose is on camera, it's nothing but wideshot, wideshot, wideshot. Is Rose grotesquely disfigured, or are the producers of the show too cheap or lazy to employ more than two camera angles?

Panic

This pitiful apology from SuxNews was brought to our attention by an alert reader.Who implements a whole new system of any kind without testing it first?Besides SuxNews, we mean.

Invention

Friday's news that Barack Obama won an electoral vote from Nebraska's 2nd congressional district might come as a surprise to the dozens of people who caught Channel Sux's 11:30 a.m. newscast on Wednesday.It was on that broadcast that anchor Jimmy Thiedlecki decided to declare McCain the winner of that vote.Not only did Jimmy make the wrong call, he did it based on totals that he seems to have

Snowbotch

This morning we found ourselves torn: should we watch local stations soil themselves over the prospect of 1-3 inches of snow or bask in the otherworldliness of the infomercial on KPTM that used phrases like "caked-on fecal matter"? Turns out there wasn't much difference.Our favorite moments from Channel 7's exaggerated coverage:• Elictia Hammond standing on Douglas Street, just feet from the

Discovery

By Sunday evening at 5 p.m., WOWT detected that a tornado had hit Omaha early Sunday morning.Empty-headed anchor John Knicely was on the scene within 15 hours of the storm, telling stories that KETV had covered on its 7 a.m. newscast.At 10 p.m., Chief Ejacucaster Jim Flowers—with nary a giggle—apologized for the station's coverage, but then began backpedaling almost immediately. He and Mike

Answered

Our inquisitive reader's request for info on a 1960s Omaha anchor prompted a cascade of responses, many noting that the local paper's Mike Kelly did a story on the subject several years ago, and others pointing toward numerous newspaper articles on the Google Books website.


Here is that inquisitive reader's follow-up letter, in full:

Ted,I want to thank you and your alert readers for the

Patton's Deals with Not-So-Fresh Feeling

KMTV's Devon "Lockjaw" Patton, who co-anchors the weekend news and practices his ventriloquism act simultaneously, gave the "Andrea McMaster treatment" to the name of Omaha's most prestigious all-girl school. In describing a car wash organized by one of its students, Patton pronounced "Duschenne" so that it sounded like douchin.'There is speculation in this office that later this week, Patton

GraphicTracker 6000

Channel 6 unveiled a new set of weather graphics Monday. The main changes appear to be a more muted shade of blue and a new font. At first glance, they appear to be a hybrid of those already in use at Channel 3 and on the Weather Channel®. No matter how pretty the pictures, however, Jeff Jensen is still Jeff Jensen, and Michael Born is still Michael Born.

Retirement Watch: 76 Lethargic Days Left

As nice as it is to know that there's an end in sight, we can't help but wish Pat Persaud could speed this whole "retirement" process up a bit. Watching her stumble her way through the 10 o'clock news feels even more excruciating than usual. Why? Consider these examples from Wednesday night's ordeal:• When blandmaster Brian Mastre noted that paramedics had assisted a pregnant woman caught in a

#@&$! Where You Live

SuxNews seldom fails to delight with its coverage of storms. While KETV gives us live video of trees being tossed about, Channel Sux airs Jimmy Thiedlecki's photos of a privacy fence that fell over or Maltard Maddox's breathless account of her patio furniture blowing around.

But Tuesday's highlight was anchor Tracy Madden blurting out an expletive while waiting for J-Tard Knicely, a climatically